This was my first medical mission trip. The entire journey of preparing, going, and returning from the trip has been a series of lessons in learning how to trust God.
I originally heard about this El Salvador trip through my CPFI chapter. A number of us were planning to go together. However, everyone else backed out and I was confronted with my fear—fear of not being able to pay for the trip and fear of going “alone”. But God challenged my doubts and the limits I was putting on His faithfulness. So I signed up and let my heart be humbled as God supplied all my financial support in one month. God took away all the barriers I had constructed in my reliance on the safe and familiar.
Getting to El Salvador proved to be another adventure. My phone broke as I was departing very early in the morning, removing any way I had no way of staying in contact with my team as flights were delayed, rerouted, and changed. With every travel change, God reassured my heart that He was in control as I meditated on the facts that He is sovereign over everything, that He works all things for our good, and that I need to rejoice in all circumstances. This got harder when I missed my connection with my team and was stranded in the Atlanta airport for 8 hours, only to arrive in El Salvador at 2AM after 24 hours of traveling. To top my physical and psychological exhaustion, the airline lost my luggage. This left me with one change of clothes and a few toiletry items. God had once again removed anything in the way of Him.
He removed my ability to remove myself from the stressful situation with my phone. For a time, He removed the security of my team (I hadn’t realized how much I was relying on them even though we hadn’t met yet). He removed my ability to be self-sufficient. He took away my own provisions to teach me to rely completely on His provision for my needs—as He promises to supply in Matthew 6. I literally had to rely on God to cloth me. And He faithfully provided just as He promises He will. Through all these challenges God also removed the walls I could hide my weaknesses behind. He forced me to be vulnerable with my team and dependent on God’s power perfected in my weakness.
The lessons in complete dependence on God continued throughout the week as I was stretched beyond my comfort zone—medically in the clinic, personally in sharing devotions and my testimony with church members and my team, and spiritually in my complete dependence on God to lead and provide.
In our clinic, I was stretched beyond the limits of my knowledge as a pharmacy student. But God had provided a pharmacist on our team for me to lean on and learn from. With how our clinic was set up, patients were presented the Gospel by members of the church we were working alongside before they ever got to a provider. This made me feel like I was slacking. I was only doing half the mission in providing physical care. It felt like I was having no spiritual impact because I wasn't the one directly sharing the Gospel. But even this was part of God's provision. God had jobs for each our team to do, as part of His Body serving His greater purpose. My part got to be in the pharmacy. God helped me see this for the beautiful picture of unity that it is. Each of us brought skills and God used them. We were so fortunate to be able to provide a special platform for the existing El Salvadorian church to reach their own people to a depth I never could through a language barrier. We came together as the Body of Christ from all different backgrounds, skill sets, languages, and locations. And together, God was able to build up His Body for His own purpose and glory.
But trusting God doesn’t stop because I’m home. I’m learning that the things God removed aren’t the issue—my forsaking heart is. The problem is that I replace God’s rightful place of total control with anything else. I am learning that God won’t always forcibly remove my idols. I need to choose daily to offer myself as a living sacrifice to God—in total dependence on Him for whatever He has for me to do, refusing to let even good things take my trust and comfort. That applies to every moment of every day...whether in a clinic across the world or in class. God is God of each of those moments, each of those places, and me regardless of my situation.
I originally heard about this El Salvador trip through my CPFI chapter. A number of us were planning to go together. However, everyone else backed out and I was confronted with my fear—fear of not being able to pay for the trip and fear of going “alone”. But God challenged my doubts and the limits I was putting on His faithfulness. So I signed up and let my heart be humbled as God supplied all my financial support in one month. God took away all the barriers I had constructed in my reliance on the safe and familiar.
Getting to El Salvador proved to be another adventure. My phone broke as I was departing very early in the morning, removing any way I had no way of staying in contact with my team as flights were delayed, rerouted, and changed. With every travel change, God reassured my heart that He was in control as I meditated on the facts that He is sovereign over everything, that He works all things for our good, and that I need to rejoice in all circumstances. This got harder when I missed my connection with my team and was stranded in the Atlanta airport for 8 hours, only to arrive in El Salvador at 2AM after 24 hours of traveling. To top my physical and psychological exhaustion, the airline lost my luggage. This left me with one change of clothes and a few toiletry items. God had once again removed anything in the way of Him.
He removed my ability to remove myself from the stressful situation with my phone. For a time, He removed the security of my team (I hadn’t realized how much I was relying on them even though we hadn’t met yet). He removed my ability to be self-sufficient. He took away my own provisions to teach me to rely completely on His provision for my needs—as He promises to supply in Matthew 6. I literally had to rely on God to cloth me. And He faithfully provided just as He promises He will. Through all these challenges God also removed the walls I could hide my weaknesses behind. He forced me to be vulnerable with my team and dependent on God’s power perfected in my weakness.
The lessons in complete dependence on God continued throughout the week as I was stretched beyond my comfort zone—medically in the clinic, personally in sharing devotions and my testimony with church members and my team, and spiritually in my complete dependence on God to lead and provide.
In our clinic, I was stretched beyond the limits of my knowledge as a pharmacy student. But God had provided a pharmacist on our team for me to lean on and learn from. With how our clinic was set up, patients were presented the Gospel by members of the church we were working alongside before they ever got to a provider. This made me feel like I was slacking. I was only doing half the mission in providing physical care. It felt like I was having no spiritual impact because I wasn't the one directly sharing the Gospel. But even this was part of God's provision. God had jobs for each our team to do, as part of His Body serving His greater purpose. My part got to be in the pharmacy. God helped me see this for the beautiful picture of unity that it is. Each of us brought skills and God used them. We were so fortunate to be able to provide a special platform for the existing El Salvadorian church to reach their own people to a depth I never could through a language barrier. We came together as the Body of Christ from all different backgrounds, skill sets, languages, and locations. And together, God was able to build up His Body for His own purpose and glory.
But trusting God doesn’t stop because I’m home. I’m learning that the things God removed aren’t the issue—my forsaking heart is. The problem is that I replace God’s rightful place of total control with anything else. I am learning that God won’t always forcibly remove my idols. I need to choose daily to offer myself as a living sacrifice to God—in total dependence on Him for whatever He has for me to do, refusing to let even good things take my trust and comfort. That applies to every moment of every day...whether in a clinic across the world or in class. God is God of each of those moments, each of those places, and me regardless of my situation.
